The world is shaped by artificial law. Each area of life seems to have an equation that is presumed to provide a solution. Economics is a series of equations and laws that determine rational consumer choice. Politics is based on a history of precedents that ultimately determines future decisions. Diets routinely say that anyone can be more fit in four weeks. There are books titled, "Ten Rules to Follow in Order to Snag Your Man" and "The Best Way to Make The Perfect Romantic Dinner."
Individuals and events are subjective. The world is inconsistent and instead of recognizing this, we treat it as if it were universally constant--a single strain of a virus that can be treated with one anecdote. But, in reality a virus is continually changing, becomes immune to one treatment, affects everyone differently, and routinely needs new antibodies to eradicate it.
In economics, they teach you that you are able to calculate the total utility (satisfaction) of a demand market from a simple equation. I don't believe it works in practice. Everyone in a market gains a different amount of enjoyment from consuming a single piece of pizza, so how would it be possible to calculate the enjoyment of an entire community. Even that number would be an overall average and it would be useless to apply that information back onto an individual, because her rationality differs from the girl's next door. In politics, they make future decisions based upon the past. For instance, it is common in the Utah legislature for congressmen to use the phrase, "slippery slope." "Oh, we can't let people in homosexual relationships make medical decisions for their partner, because then later we will have to grant them the right to marry." "Oh, we cant prohibit smoking in a car with an infant present, because then we will have to regulate everything else people do in cars." Why? Why would those provisions follow the others? Is the next law not its own individual circumstance? Do we have to decide everything based on what we have done or known in the past?
Similarly, a book can't tell you how to cook the perfect meal or how to find love. Maybe you like a little more spice in your fajitas than the recipe calls for, or maybe the boy your hoping to win over likes it when you call rather than "playing hard to get." The diet that helped your sister loose 20 pounds is not going to help tone your stomach, and the smooth line that allows your brother to get all those phone numbers is not going to get you a date.
Do we have to know our past to know where we are going? Each new experience and person has to be treated as its own. There are no formulas or equations to help you make the right decisions. There is no prescription that tells you to take two pills daily in order to gain everything you have ever wanted. There are no books that give you the answers. So stop existing by "the rules" and live each opportunity for what it is.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The "Art" of Compromise
Usually, compromise is a good thing, especially in relationships and politics I would say. It is the device that keeps the pendulum swinging back and forth. I give a little, you give a little and for the most part we spend most our time in the middle, on common ground. It is the gravity of the sun that keeps the earth from flying out of constant orbit and rotation. I regulate your extreme thoughts, you regulate mine and almost always we keep each other from traveling completely off course.
But is it possible that compromise isn't an art at all, but a technique we have created to prevent ourselves from getting shot on the Senate floor? A technique that sometimes limits us from achieving any real progress? The Democrats wanted to pull troops out of Iraq altogether, the Republicans wanted to create a military surge to go in full force and get it done. They compromised by sending in a few combatants and the war basically came to a standstill. There are too few men to make any real advancement and there are enough that some have died trying. A man wants to get married; the girl feels she is too young and wants too keep her options open. They compromise and become exclusive. Neither is happy: one can't have the wife he loves and the other is not as free as she wishes to be. The Democrats wanted to pass a huge stimulus bill; the Republicans wanted to give America tax cuts. They compromised and passed a stimulus that was cut by millions of dollars. We are left with a package that is so diluted that it will be unable to shed any light within the economic crisis. A Husband is unhappy in his marriage and seeks a divorce. The wife is dearly in love and doesn't want to loose his companionship. They compromise and get a separation. The man remains unhappy unable to pursue those who might lift his spirits, and the woman is grieved by her somewhat incomplete loss while struggling to pick up the pieces.
Sometimes (only sometimes) in place of compromise, we should relinquish our own pursuits. I am guessing that we may find that our opposition's end may produce better results than our stubborn unwillingness to acquiesce.
But is it possible that compromise isn't an art at all, but a technique we have created to prevent ourselves from getting shot on the Senate floor? A technique that sometimes limits us from achieving any real progress? The Democrats wanted to pull troops out of Iraq altogether, the Republicans wanted to create a military surge to go in full force and get it done. They compromised by sending in a few combatants and the war basically came to a standstill. There are too few men to make any real advancement and there are enough that some have died trying. A man wants to get married; the girl feels she is too young and wants too keep her options open. They compromise and become exclusive. Neither is happy: one can't have the wife he loves and the other is not as free as she wishes to be. The Democrats wanted to pass a huge stimulus bill; the Republicans wanted to give America tax cuts. They compromised and passed a stimulus that was cut by millions of dollars. We are left with a package that is so diluted that it will be unable to shed any light within the economic crisis. A Husband is unhappy in his marriage and seeks a divorce. The wife is dearly in love and doesn't want to loose his companionship. They compromise and get a separation. The man remains unhappy unable to pursue those who might lift his spirits, and the woman is grieved by her somewhat incomplete loss while struggling to pick up the pieces.
Sometimes (only sometimes) in place of compromise, we should relinquish our own pursuits. I am guessing that we may find that our opposition's end may produce better results than our stubborn unwillingness to acquiesce.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Stray From the "Plans"
I just got back to Salt Lake City from my weekend holiday in St. George. I shouldn't be surprised that nothing happens as you expect. Your plans aren't always what God has in mind for you. This is certain: sometimes you don't get what you want and the life that follows is determined by how you handle the unexpected, the upsets, and the obstacles you encounter on the way to accomplishing your "plans."
Stephanie, Lora, and I had planned to leave the city at 6:00pm so we wouldn't have to miss class and still arrive in St. George at a somewhat decent hour. Before leaving, I stopped to fill up with gas. I happened to check the air pressure in the tires to discover that they were incredibly low. Unfortunately the air pump at the station was broken and instead of putting in air, it continued to suck air out of the tires. I then drove to a second gas station, to a second air pump, and Stephanie and I succeeded in filling up the tires.
Finally, we reached I 15 at 7:00 and started our journey south. Once we reached Provo, it started to snow heavily and we realized that my windshield wipers had frozen (probably from sitting weeks in the cold in the campus parking lot) and were now crumbling apart and obviously not doing their job of "wiping." So as I haunched over in my car and peered through the small portion of glass that was somewhat clear because of the defroster, I pulled off at the next available exit where we got out of the car and manually wiped off the windshield.
Back on the highway, we decided that we wouldn't make it without windshield wipers so we decided to pull over at a Flying J to buy some. In the dark and snow and with a blurry vision, I thought I was turning into the Flying J parking lot, but instead I found myself on the interstate ramp that took us back north. Once your on those things, it is, of course, impossible and dangerous to get off so we had to drive all the way to the previous exit where we had just stopped to wipe off the window. We turned around, and proceed back south, in order to try pulling into the Flying J one more time. This time we made it and I purchased two wiper blades. Stephanie basically froze off her fingers trying to figure out how to replace the old for the new (after we determined that this plan was better than the alternative of asking one of the rustic-looking truckers for assistance). But finally, the new wipers were securely fashened and we were back on our way. An hour later, we ran out of windshield wiper fluid, luckily patches of rain and snow could be used as a substitute. And when percipitation was absent, Stephanie was commissioned to stick her arm out the window of the moving vehicle and throw water on the window from the bottles we had packed and planned to drink.
Driving at 60 miles per hour due to whether conditions and out of fear produced by the millions of vehicles we passed that had slide off the road, we reached Beaver around 10 o'clock. To our luck, authorities there had closed I15 because 20 cars and 2 semis had collided just a few hours earlier. We were rerouted on side roads that took us to Minersville and through some back mountains. I am positive the drive would have been beautiful in the light. We reached this one area where the clouds became a faint mist and the moon was able to silhouette the mountains and the fog that crept near the fields in the distance. For some time, it seemed as if we were driving through the English Moores. Anyway, at 1 am we finally reached the comfort of our bed in St. George.
Despite the conditions, we had an amazing time. We decided to have fun with whatever it was that would come our way and we did. We had so much fun and I believe that it is those kind of things that an individual remembers forever because it didn't go as planned.
You have two choices: you can either choose be happy with what comes or you can sulk and dwell on what didn't happen or what you didn't get. Most of the time if you choose to look at the situation differently, you end up getting a lot more than what you originally hoped or planned for.
Stephanie, Lora, and I had planned to leave the city at 6:00pm so we wouldn't have to miss class and still arrive in St. George at a somewhat decent hour. Before leaving, I stopped to fill up with gas. I happened to check the air pressure in the tires to discover that they were incredibly low. Unfortunately the air pump at the station was broken and instead of putting in air, it continued to suck air out of the tires. I then drove to a second gas station, to a second air pump, and Stephanie and I succeeded in filling up the tires.
Finally, we reached I 15 at 7:00 and started our journey south. Once we reached Provo, it started to snow heavily and we realized that my windshield wipers had frozen (probably from sitting weeks in the cold in the campus parking lot) and were now crumbling apart and obviously not doing their job of "wiping." So as I haunched over in my car and peered through the small portion of glass that was somewhat clear because of the defroster, I pulled off at the next available exit where we got out of the car and manually wiped off the windshield.
Back on the highway, we decided that we wouldn't make it without windshield wipers so we decided to pull over at a Flying J to buy some. In the dark and snow and with a blurry vision, I thought I was turning into the Flying J parking lot, but instead I found myself on the interstate ramp that took us back north. Once your on those things, it is, of course, impossible and dangerous to get off so we had to drive all the way to the previous exit where we had just stopped to wipe off the window. We turned around, and proceed back south, in order to try pulling into the Flying J one more time. This time we made it and I purchased two wiper blades. Stephanie basically froze off her fingers trying to figure out how to replace the old for the new (after we determined that this plan was better than the alternative of asking one of the rustic-looking truckers for assistance). But finally, the new wipers were securely fashened and we were back on our way. An hour later, we ran out of windshield wiper fluid, luckily patches of rain and snow could be used as a substitute. And when percipitation was absent, Stephanie was commissioned to stick her arm out the window of the moving vehicle and throw water on the window from the bottles we had packed and planned to drink.
Driving at 60 miles per hour due to whether conditions and out of fear produced by the millions of vehicles we passed that had slide off the road, we reached Beaver around 10 o'clock. To our luck, authorities there had closed I15 because 20 cars and 2 semis had collided just a few hours earlier. We were rerouted on side roads that took us to Minersville and through some back mountains. I am positive the drive would have been beautiful in the light. We reached this one area where the clouds became a faint mist and the moon was able to silhouette the mountains and the fog that crept near the fields in the distance. For some time, it seemed as if we were driving through the English Moores. Anyway, at 1 am we finally reached the comfort of our bed in St. George.
Despite the conditions, we had an amazing time. We decided to have fun with whatever it was that would come our way and we did. We had so much fun and I believe that it is those kind of things that an individual remembers forever because it didn't go as planned.
You have two choices: you can either choose be happy with what comes or you can sulk and dwell on what didn't happen or what you didn't get. Most of the time if you choose to look at the situation differently, you end up getting a lot more than what you originally hoped or planned for.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Therefore We Are
I read this in a book today...
When Descartes said, "I think therefore, I am," he uttered a very profound thought. But there are times in the history of peoples when thought alone does not prove there existence...There are times when everything in you cries out: your very self-respect as a human being lies in your resistance to evil. We fight, therefore we are!
I wanted to share this with you for two reasons. One, I believe that many people take what the Greats, such as Plato and Socrates, say at face value. No one ever thinks for themselves, sits down and contemplates if their statements are truly accurate. We do this every day with each other; we avoid testing the truth and facts of common knowledge in order to sidestep conflict and possible humiliation. No one wants to raise their hand in class to question the Professor who spent eight years researching the very subject. No one wants to develop a theory contrary to Marx, Hobbes, or Machiavelli. So when I read this quote I was glad that someone finally did. Even though its a small notion, its a large step in the right direction.
Second, the author of this quote brings up a profound idea. In what context did Descartes believe that mere thinking was enough to prove our existence? Thinking is certainly important and is the ultimate road map to the final destination, but if we never get up and drive we'll never get anywhere. If we sit in a room all day and think, who is to say that were ever alive? What profound impact will we have on society if we have profound insight but never share it with the world? What if our forefathers thought about rebelling against British occupation but never acted to secure their rights? What if Martin Luther King Jr. thought about a dream but never shared it with America? What if Columbus thought the world was round but never sailed the oceans to fight for the truth?
I believe it is very important to share your ideas with others, always search for what is beyond wonderment, and fight for want you believe in and for what you want.
When Descartes said, "I think therefore, I am," he uttered a very profound thought. But there are times in the history of peoples when thought alone does not prove there existence...There are times when everything in you cries out: your very self-respect as a human being lies in your resistance to evil. We fight, therefore we are!
I wanted to share this with you for two reasons. One, I believe that many people take what the Greats, such as Plato and Socrates, say at face value. No one ever thinks for themselves, sits down and contemplates if their statements are truly accurate. We do this every day with each other; we avoid testing the truth and facts of common knowledge in order to sidestep conflict and possible humiliation. No one wants to raise their hand in class to question the Professor who spent eight years researching the very subject. No one wants to develop a theory contrary to Marx, Hobbes, or Machiavelli. So when I read this quote I was glad that someone finally did. Even though its a small notion, its a large step in the right direction.
Second, the author of this quote brings up a profound idea. In what context did Descartes believe that mere thinking was enough to prove our existence? Thinking is certainly important and is the ultimate road map to the final destination, but if we never get up and drive we'll never get anywhere. If we sit in a room all day and think, who is to say that were ever alive? What profound impact will we have on society if we have profound insight but never share it with the world? What if our forefathers thought about rebelling against British occupation but never acted to secure their rights? What if Martin Luther King Jr. thought about a dream but never shared it with America? What if Columbus thought the world was round but never sailed the oceans to fight for the truth?
I believe it is very important to share your ideas with others, always search for what is beyond wonderment, and fight for want you believe in and for what you want.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Happy In Moderation
What if the thing that made you the most happy in life was the one thing that caused you the most pain? Everyone goes through this almost every day in their life, I am certain of it. All my friends, including myself, are currently trying to find the equilibrium between the extraordinary pleasure and the intense repercussions of the same object.
If you are still at a loss for what I am trying to say, let me put it this way. A man loves chocolate cake. The texture of the frosting on his tongue, the taste of it in his mouth, the sight of the chocolate piled layer upon layer.... When he looks back, his happiest memories are those that involve the succulent presence of the dark dessert. Nothing else seems to matter as long as there is cake. He forgets about all the other downfalls in his life, feels the best about himself, and is the happiest in the presence of the the baked chocolate. Nonetheless, he realizes that it is also his weakness. The cake causes him to gain weight and after the taste is gone, he no longer feels good about himself. His friends make fun of him for his weird passion about a baked good and his overall health declines due to the ever increasing blood pressure.
Of course, this is just an over-reaching metaphor about a lust for a dessert, but suppose that his total happiness rested on the existance of cake in his life. Is it worth being happy when you are required to be miserable at the same time? Where should we draw the line when the ease of pain comes at the expense of joy?
I had a conversation with my friend today. She is in love with her best friend. He is in love with his ex. But she told me that she is willing to be his friend if that is what it takes to be even a little piece of his life. Her love is disguised as friendship and she has to endure hearing his stories of other women and how much he loves someone else, etc. etc. And I look up to her because she is willing to go through all that heartache just be able to be in his life.
Maybe the purpose of life is not only to find what makes you happy, but to find that threshold of where you can no longer hold onto it. At what point does "for better and for worse" no longer matter? Is there a limit when "worse" is just too bad, the pain exceeding the pleasure; and if this were to happen, does this mean that we should give up what truly makes us happy because the current moment is bleak? Where should we draw the line between good and evil?
Is being happy in moderation not good enough?
If you are still at a loss for what I am trying to say, let me put it this way. A man loves chocolate cake. The texture of the frosting on his tongue, the taste of it in his mouth, the sight of the chocolate piled layer upon layer.... When he looks back, his happiest memories are those that involve the succulent presence of the dark dessert. Nothing else seems to matter as long as there is cake. He forgets about all the other downfalls in his life, feels the best about himself, and is the happiest in the presence of the the baked chocolate. Nonetheless, he realizes that it is also his weakness. The cake causes him to gain weight and after the taste is gone, he no longer feels good about himself. His friends make fun of him for his weird passion about a baked good and his overall health declines due to the ever increasing blood pressure.
Of course, this is just an over-reaching metaphor about a lust for a dessert, but suppose that his total happiness rested on the existance of cake in his life. Is it worth being happy when you are required to be miserable at the same time? Where should we draw the line when the ease of pain comes at the expense of joy?
I had a conversation with my friend today. She is in love with her best friend. He is in love with his ex. But she told me that she is willing to be his friend if that is what it takes to be even a little piece of his life. Her love is disguised as friendship and she has to endure hearing his stories of other women and how much he loves someone else, etc. etc. And I look up to her because she is willing to go through all that heartache just be able to be in his life.
Maybe the purpose of life is not only to find what makes you happy, but to find that threshold of where you can no longer hold onto it. At what point does "for better and for worse" no longer matter? Is there a limit when "worse" is just too bad, the pain exceeding the pleasure; and if this were to happen, does this mean that we should give up what truly makes us happy because the current moment is bleak? Where should we draw the line between good and evil?
Is being happy in moderation not good enough?
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