I know why people gamble. You play the slots, try to be the one to hit the jackpot. You move to Hollywood, try to be one of the few who gets on the big screen. You date, try to find the person you want to spend your life with. It's easy to understand the human motivation to take a chance. The real question is.....Why, once a person wins, does she continue to gamble?
A man goes to Las Vegas. He bets everything he has on one roll. He wins and has everything he has ever wanted. He has spent his life trying to make a roll just like this one. He knows he was lucky. He knows the house usually wins. So why does he continue to gamble after he's already won?
A young graduate scores the job of her dreams. A few years past and she believes that she can do better, be hired to do something more. Why does the girl give up something she has worked her whole life to achieve? Why does she give up the perfect job on the slim assumption that there's something better?
Two people fall in love. They have been looking for each other high and low. They both know that the other is a perfect match, that they want to spend forever with each other, that they were lucky to find each other in the first place. A few months pass and the man decides to break up with her. He is afraid he is missing out on something more, something greater. Why would a person assume there's someone better after they have already found the best?
Why gamble when you've already won?
We are always looking for more because we have been taught to look for the flaws in people insted of loving them. Only one man who has walked this earth has ever been perfect and as long as we continue to look for the perfect man rather than accepting a person for who they are and appreciating what they can contribute, we will never be happy with what we have.
ReplyDeleteIf gambling is defined as taking a risk with the possibility of losing something of value, we have to consider the scenerios you have expressed. In each instance there is the correlation of an intial sense of euphoria. Research has shown that there exists both an emotional and biological element in the feeling of well being. This is one reason why people don't always make the best decision when first 'falling' in love, because a chemical within the brain does not allow them to think logically. But I don't believe euphoria is the right emotion that a 'gambler' has when he wins. Because for him chance has become real. The hope for something that is rare is made real. I don't believe finding the right person is gambling. It is not taking a chance it is making a committment. What is at risk and what is the loss? Mohandas Gandhi said, "Nobody can hurt me/without my permission." Does a person define themself by money, and without it they are unsuccessful or a nobody? Does a person define themself by their career? And without that perfect job they are a failure? Should a person define themself by another individual? Why then the person that they are in love with rather then the person that they pass on the street? What is at risk and what is the loss? If you think a relationship is all up to chance then you have fallen into the collective thought of today's American society. Chance takes little effort: guessing numbers, throwing dice, picking the winning team. If relationships and careers are approached with little effort (work and committment) then you are 'just' gambling.
ReplyDeleteI think that when a person wins, they consider themselves a winner forever.
ReplyDeleteWhy win once when you have the potential of winning twice, or three times. Gambling seems to be more of a numbers game than anything else.
People want to find their limits whether it be morally, spiritually, financially, romantically. Until they lose they will not know the value of what they have won.
To Stephanie Michelle: If we will never be happy with what we have, then what makes a person want to finally settle down, grow up, and accept happiness whether its with a career or a lover?
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous: I believe the risk in a relationnship (or in a committment as you see it) is the possibility of getting hurt and having your heart broken. The loss is foregoing a part of yourself to give to someone else, the time you invest in the committment, and the opportunity to be an individual. Thus to me, love is a gamble.
To b11strawder: What happens when you lose the most important thing to you, because you thought you could win bigger? How many times does a person have to lose to realize the value of what they win? And if you never know what you've won until you don't have it anymore, then wwhat makes a person finally settle and stop gambling?
It is not that we can not be happy. There are a lot of people in this world who are happy. My point was those who are searching for perfection will not find true happiness. And as for the people out who have their target set at perfect decide to settle down or get a job or do all those other suburban things because they are supposed to.
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